Who's Pulling Your Strings?: How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life

This book is a definitive guide (for me) that discusses how and why I have been attractive to narcissistic types as well as fearful-avoidants. A practical look at both sides of manipulation and why the dance continues. Most importantly are the tools to change. I have the insight and the courage. Now I have the map. Highly recommend for anyone who needs it.

I didn't buy this book for me, but for my sister. She is in an abusive relationship and her husband is a master manipulator. I'm not talking about an occasional manipulator, but one that uses all those terrible tricks skillfully and with such ease that it is truly a part of their DNA. After talking to my sister about this book, because I was very nervous sending her something I had not read before...I was so excited to hear that this book was everything I hoped it would be for her. ((Thank you to all those that left reviews that helped me decide on this book!)) She said that this book 'saved her life'...it is helping her to see and understand when she is being manipulated and has given her some tools to help break it. I think she is finally realizing (after 7 years chronically believing that she would somehow make him a better person and the guilt trips he would give her further making her feel trapped) has succumbed to the reality that she CANNOT change him and that she truly has to work on herself and get herself stronger. Thank you Harriet Braiker for writing this book and from what I understand, making it easy to read and understand to the layperson.

Excellent, useful book, but repetitive. Gives concrete information and examples to identify what manipulation is, the corrosive effects of what it does to relationships, and most importantly, how to stop it. The information is concise, specific, eye-opening, valuable and empowering. Great resource for people who are seeking more autonomy, authenticity and assertiveness in their lives. This is a worthwhile read for anyone, but it will be particularly beneficial to women. Culturally, as women, we are often socialized to be agreeable, accommodating and nice, subsuming our needs in favor of others. We are uniquely vulnerable to manipulators because we have been schooled by society and familial norms that seem to sanction these behaviors. For anyone on a journey of self-discovery looking for more personal freedom in their interactions, this book is a good place to start.

Hit the nail on the head. insightful, so very helpful, and dead on! They should teach this in school. Every woman who is in a difficult relationship needs to read this book!

This is the first self-help book I have read cover to cover and in only 2 and 1/2 days. Best book to help one over come the vicious cycle of manipulation. I really felt I was the only one going through something like this with a relative whom offered me a place to stay rent free so I could focus on school only to find myself taking medications to overcome the stress and anxiety this individual was causing me. When I confronted her the few times before I read this book, she would point the finger at me and tell me that I can only cause my own stress and anxiety and that I was the one who was sick. I started to believe these things and my personality changed over time, not to mention my self-esteem declined and I felt I was walking on eggshells. In only 2 1/2 days, all of my worries and beliefs that maybe I was the crazy one subsided. I am scared to death to confront this person and move out but I feel like I have so much more strength to actually do it and I feel like my old self is back and I am already much happier. Great read! It has true stories and scenarios and examples of how to confront the person and what to say and how to say it, as well as, the different types of manipulators you may encounter and there tactics...I will definitely recommend this book to others!

This book goes deep into the motivations of manipulators and shows you how easy it is to deny the manipulation. This book also gives good strategies for dealing with the manipulation. But, it fails to deal with the issue of MONEY! Oh, the book mentions co-workers and bosses, but just skirts the issue of being manipulated with MONEY, but does not directly address it! Both employers and family members can manipulate you with money. I wish the book had directly addressed this issue.Also, the book takes a "just say no" attitude and all will be well. My experience is that when I stand up for myself, the other person ESCALATES. The book says that manipulators want the path of least resistance. The book also mentions that a manipulator may "change tactics" if you stand up for yourself. I have experienced this. But the book doesn't mention what to do if the person ESCALATES.

After reading countless books in the hope of finding out how to get through to a person who is, and remains,, totally stuck in a certain mindset, along comes Harriet Braiker with a simply brilliant answer. The answer is, "I must change me. I cannot change him. I never will. Realize I never will". And then she explains exactly how that person came to be the way he or she is, and how I keep perpetuating the problem by being what I am and doing what I do. Because I now know all this, I can start dealing with the problem which is My problem, and Ms. Braiker teaches the fundamentals on how to do just that. It is easy to see that this will work in any kind of relationship, whether you are a man or woman, in a marriage, on the job, in your school. After many decades of being married to an Asperger with paranoia/narcissism, I have now tried the author's suggestions for the past month. To my amazement, it produces an instant change. I can see the changes happening throughout the closer family. I know I would like to write a follow-up here when I have tried this longer. It will take some practice.

Great book!

Wow, such a great book. Superb information on all the nasty manipulative types of people in the World. Great description on Narcissm which is what I wanted.I have been elightened. Everybody should be given a copy at their eighteenth birthday.

C'est un excellent livre pour quiconque estime ne pas entretenir une relation équilibrée ou juste (personnelle ou professionnelle).

You don't beleive this book change dmy life i relaised what is going on around me. This book within six months chnaged my entire life. Now i am a succeful professional and having a happy life. I felt so bad that I don't aware of this book much earlier. thanks to the Braiker.

This is totally one of the very best books I have ever read on dealing with manipulative people. This is well written, down to earth and full of very practical advice. I love this book , and have actually re-read a number of chapters in it. Highly recommended to those who want to know practical methods and ways to deal effectively with the various types of manipulative people who we encounter in our daily lives. Excellent!!!

I thought this was a brilliant book. It helped me clearly understand what goes on in the mind of a manipulator and how to stop them in their tracks. It's help clear up and resolve some past issues with a manipulator and put it to bed. I will be reading this book again and again. A lot of the exercises and concepts although relating to manipulation could also be used with anxiety and anxious thinking. Just a very well put together book. Thank you.